I'm back!!!

Hello, i'm back! This time, i'm coming back as an Uni student and no longer a college student XD Haha =P hmmnn.. i guess u can see that i'm quite happy bout it. Actually, i'm very happy when i first got an offer from this uni, not that i would say that i'm not happy now, just that its not as perfect as i thought it would be, thats all.. Yet, i'm still very happy!!! After struggling for a year and a half, at last, i'm studying in Uni like everyone else! The feeling of someone wants you feels so good.. Its feels way way better than being rejected...

So, i had started my classes here and currently studying my first sem :) The whole batch has only 7 person including me.. Haha.. its kinda little, because this course is still very new in our Uni yeah.. but we are very close =D They are all nice people and that includes my housemates ^^ hhmmmn... what else, my classes? i only have to attend to 3 subjects this sem due to short sem. i was exempted for one of the sub so it became 2 subs. one of it doesn't require exam so now i ended up studying only one sub for exam that is next wednesday... ermm.. although i did study this subject before, but i still kinda blur about it. I don't know how the few of the sub topics are coming out and what it covers.. Its quite hard to understand... Next wed is my exam, i shall score it!! 

Next sem is going to be much tougher as i'm taking an extra subject, that is MUET, an english subject necessary for all malaysian students... How sad, it is an compulsory for my uni's student to get at least band 3 to graduate. So including this sub, i have all in 6 subjects and one co-curriculum to attend to. Next sem will be a very tiring sem and i think i cannot be as relax as i'm now anymore.. sad sad... however, i have my violin class here, it will cheer me up a bit :) He is a senior who joined the orchestra before and he is now my violin teacher ^^ he is a nice guy and very talented :) 

I guess thats how my Uni life for now :) Hope that next year will be a better year :) 

♥tyunn ^^

life has been tough these days...

hmmmnn... sometimes, i wonder, is it my problem or is it other people's problem...  and after thinking about my past.. Its like a sequence.. Things just happens and it happens again and again... I tried my best to avoid things like that to happen again but it never succeed.

Working hard was my aim this year, and yeah, i did get the results that i'm quite satisfied with. However, my other stuff, such as friendship, it didn't made it like how i imagined. So its fair that we don't always get what we want. But most importantly, i think i should have a change in my attitude and all the shyness that is in me.

I'm lazy, always thinking of doing something fun like watching tv for the whole day and get mad easily, and even said things that shouldn't say without thinking. These should all changed in time, but i'm what i'm, so its kinda hard for me to change these behavior that i had it for the past 18 years. However, strategies will come soon enough to make me a whole new different person, i hope.... because, you see... i'm a person who fails to plan so its basically plan to fail.. and even if i planned, i don't like following it... THAT'S ME! haha...

There's one more thing that i realised about my self, that is i'm always being envy about how others look and how i look. i always compare this and compare that. This made me even worst and this leads me to losing a lot of friends. May be this is because i'm always comparing my self to my brother, he is always the excellent one in my family and scored marks that i'll never scored. but this has to change too, i need to be a better person by not comparing to others and just try my very best in everything.

Of course, this is not all, i also cannot treat the person i love the way they should be treated with respect, for instance, my bf, i actually asked him to try to stay away whenever i saw my friends, my relatives or my family when we are going out together. I know this is cruel, but i cannot admit that he is my bf.. this is because my mother never did agree on me having a bf.. now the question comes, why did i even have a bf in the first place? why do i even accept him in the first place? I don't know.. i think i just need a person to lay on for a while and it became so unfair for him.

so basically, i think i have more weakness than strength after all.. haha... Hoping that things will change after i get into degree program, try to grow up, and stop being so naive and childish!!

things just happened

well, the unforgettable moment of all, happened in MAHSA. I thought i had a great room mate at first, cause she was my friend from Methodist since last year, but then i barely knew her cause she decided to leave after 1st sem. So we basically moved in and stayed together. At first, we were close, we hang out together with a bunch of friends, we had our meals together. Until one day, that i accidentally said the wrong thing that hurts my friends feelings which this girl is one of our friends and ended up, we are no longer friends. However, my roommate forgave me and continue being my friend. We had fights, just those small fights that we usually forgive each other after a while. Just after the first sem, i was quite close with a boy and i always had dinner with him instead of having dinner with my roommate. Starting from that moment, she started to treat me coldly and she said, it was my own fault that i don't appreciate people around me.. I do accept this statement and it is a fair reason for her to say that of what i've done to her. and i had no choice but to appologise to her and try to make things up with her... It was my fault all along. But there's something i don't really understand, why can't she try to understand my situation? I wanted to have dinner with her but i can't abandon him as he came all the way to college just to hang around with me and have dinner with me. I tried to ask him not to come so often, but... you know how when a person is in love, they would do anything... anything at all just to see the person they love cause they miss that person so much. Soon, this problem solved. We are once friends again.

However, this time, it did not last long. She annoyed me whenever she switch on the lights of the room early in the morning to study. It was not one two days, but it continued on for a week. That really pissed me off. Although i did say that i can sleep under the lights but not by switching on the lights while i was already dreaming in the sleep. but, i never mention this to her yet, she can sense that i was angry whenever i wake up every morning.

This one night, my friends and i are having a last minute preparation for the next day presentation for information technology subject. and so, we gathered in my room and we do our own work while chit-chatting. When she came back, she was quite pissed off seeing me bringing my friends into the room. After a while, she said that she feels like sleeping and hope that all my friends will leave. I asked my friend that had done her work to leave and the rest of us continue to finish up our work quietly. She was flipping here and there on her bed and starring at our working, asking what time is our work going to finish. the three of us was so quiet and we make less noise as we could and just do our work. the worst thing was she actually posted something very cruel in facebook and always saying that i'm putting on a drama. FINE!!! I've had enough! I'm a human, i had feelings! I'm not a soft toy that u could just play around whenever u like and just treat me as a slave whenever u want, hoping that everyone will suit you just for the sake of the way you live! Wake Up!!! Life has always been FAIR, like u said! I tried my very best to try things out with you, but it failed. i guess, our friendship ends here. Tata ^^ and so, we are like strangers now :)

new life, friendship and love

Its has really been a while since i last posted something here.. guess i really have been busy about my studies and lazy to type.. haha.. as usual.. lazy... it never leaves me since i was in primary.. anyway.. that wasn't the topic today. Life in Mahsa.. thats the topic.. when i tell people i'm studying in mahsa, people would straightly tell me, 'i've never heard about that uni before, where is it?' well people in this world, Mahsa is just next to University Malaya, so if you know where is UM, you know where is Mahsa.
Its exactly how other people imagined here would be, not that 'good'. but it certainly depends on individual. For me, its absolutely a NO NO.. but what to do, parents not that rich, can't send me to other Uni or overseas. so just have to stay in m'sia to continue my studies with Mahsa! Say, the lecturers are not bad, just some of them need some attitude adjustment, just don't scold us even though we don't know how to answer the questions.. overall, they are great people :) i love them! but remember, this is just a foundation level, the degree courses lecturer may not be this good! now, why do i say this college is not good even if i love the lecturers here. Its not just about the lecturers when you enter a uni or college, its about the people, the students!!! we need to get along well in a college so that we are comfortable and we can be ourselves. Sadly, i'm not, i'm not happy at all... why?
i did get along quite well in the class at first, i talk to everyone in the class, there's always laughter and smile but it seemed to be getting lesser and lesser lately.. thats how it was last year too, but that time, i still had my few best friend that i can talk to, or even ask questions that i don't know how to answer. Now? not even one, when i was in the class sitting with my friends, there are just limited person who i can ask, and they are all sitting far far away from me. I felt as if i've lost my friends, i don't even have a single friends that i could ask help from. I can't find any best friends here who can help me. I'm felt lonely sometimes but not anymore cause i already adapted to the enviroment which if i don't know how to answer, i will think, think and think until i get the answer. Yup! that the way to survive in the society nowadays, we can't always depend on others.
Thats the friendship part, the love part, yea.. i did found a guy who loved me alot and he touched me. so he is basically the one who i'm always with now. the only one i can depend on :)
thats all for now... ^^

♥ tyunn ^.^